Times Change - And So Should We

by Maria Isabella

There comes a time when mother and daughter—or mother and daughter-in-law—will form an exciting new relationship. And that time begins at the precise moment a new grandchild is born. Suddenly, the “mom” becomes the “grandma”…and the “daughter” becomes the “mom.” Do you see where I’m going with this?

Truth of the matter is, roles change—and with that comes a whole new set of rules.

For me, it began when my middle daughter started having her babies (note: she now has three beautiful little creatures). It suddenly dawned on me that she had developed her very own way of doing things. For instance, she insisted the baby did not need an extra blanket. The baby could certainly go outdoors without a hat. And the baby had to sleep on its back. NO EXCEPTIONS.

My first grandchild…sleeping on his back

But back in my day (can you just hear me saying that?!), the baby always was kept extra warm. The baby always wore some type of head covering outside. And the baby always, always, always slept on its stomach. NO EXCEPTIONS.

My first child…sleeping on her tummy

I have to admit, though, today things are quite different indeed for new moms. First off, strict rules are pretty much out the window (i.e., let the baby “tell” you what it needs.) Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care (my generation’s beloved, trusty, go-to manual on parenting written by a world-renowned pediatrician) has been replaced by books with such titles as Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and Bringing Up Bébé. And everything, everything!, it seems, has to be organic—from baby’s sheets to baby’s shampoo. Sheesh.

My point is, times change. Accepted parenting practices change. And we “old folks” need to change with them. (Didn’t our own moms have different ways of raising us?) We shouldn’t be stubborn or confrontational. We shouldn’t take it personally as an affront to our own choices. And although we don’t have to necessarily think we’re suddenly hip, we do need to respect the new mom’s way of doing things.

The truth is, her way isn’t wrong. It just may be a little different than ours. But in the end, it’s all done with the greatest of all loves: a mother’s love. And how can you argue with that?

Author and her first child on the day she was born in February 1979

This post was written by Maria Isabella. Maria is a mother, grandmother, published author, and award-winning writer with over 30 years’ experience in the advertising, marketing, and publishing industries.